Balancing “big” responsibilities, especially that of being a parent, can be particularly difficult for those in a dd/lg relationship. We are constantly battling our Little habits and tendencies with the logic of being a responsible partner in a “big” relationship. This article explains how Daddy and I go about our daily lives and incorporate small parts of our dd/lg dynamic in our routine. Just because you have children does NOT mean you have to stop being who you are! Embrace it and enjoy it!
By Jessica Cocker
Daddy works overnights and sleeps most of the day. If I’m lucky he will go to bed early and wake up a couple of hours before we take him to work so I can spend time with him. Otherwise he stays up for a bit with me in the morning and then sleeps until he has to leave for work. I drive him to work every night and pick him up every morning and I love it. Sometimes the time in the car together is the only time I see him for the day and we can catch up or just hold hands.
During the day it’s just me and the kiddos. My oldest (Big Monster) goes to school so I have our 3 yr old (Lil Monster) and a one year old (Baby Monster) at home with me. I spend that time doing my chores and making sure Daddy is set for when he gets up. I keep the kids occupied, play with them, run errands, prepare for dinner, check up on ASI, etc.
When Daddy IS awake or on his days off Daddy and I are very affectionate with each other. Yes, even in front of our kids. There’s no groping or anything, but we kiss, hug, bite and if Daddy is playful he’ll give me a quick spanking as he’s walking by or if my bottom is available when we’re on the couch.
Another thing that I know some people may find odd is clothing is sometimes optional in our house. When my son is home and not outside with his friends, he’s usually down to his underwear.. same for Daddy. I’m not quite as comfortable, but I sometimes will venture out of the bedroom in my undies or wander from room to room naked. 🙂 My kids don’t find it strange, it is very normal for them and we’ve made the distinction between being home naked and being somewhere else. Of course, there are other topics surrounding this that we’ve also discussed with our oldest since he is at school and quite a talker.
I also don’t present or pose as some subs or slaves may do, but I always speak to him with respect. We playfully banter sometimes, but this has calmed down a bit….especially in front of the kids. My kids are young and nothing that we do has seemed out of the ordinary for them, because it’s what they are used to. I call my husband “Daddy” from time to time, but they obviously don’t make the distinction between their Daddy and my Daddy. I cook, clean, take care of the finances, make appointments, etc. Very rarely will Daddy have to do ANY of that, unless he chooses to… and that’s usually when I’ve been a good girl and it’s a special treat to me.
Play is limited to the bedroom unless the kids are staying with my parents (which is rare) and then we take advantage of the whole house! The kids are not supposed to go into our room, but, of course, sometimes do.. but they never get the chance to sneak around. All of our toys and fun things are put away, out of sight, so the kids don’t see them. Punishments are never given in front of the kids, that is also a strictly bedroom activity, and I do my best to be quiet when they do occur. I also make myself aware of my marks and bruises and do my best to dress to cover them so I don’t have the need to explain them to the kids or well-meaning family and friends.
Of course, part of our relationship is emotional and the kids definitely pick up on that. If Daddy gives me the silent treatment (which I HATE), they notice. If Daddy has Dom Drop or I have Sub Drop, they notice. If they ask what is wrong I give them a simple “Mommy/Daddy doesn’t feel good.” and do my best to cheer up for them.
Now, every d/s, dd/lg relationship dynamic will be different. Since our kids are young we’ve had it pretty easy so far. Plus, most of my Little and submissive behaviors have been present for a long time. For every Little and Daddy relationship where kids are involved you will have to make the decisions about how much to explain, what to be open about and what should come later and what chores and behaviors are appropriate for your family. Not every child will react the same to seeing their mother give daddy a foot rub when he comes home or to asking to take a seat on the couch. It may rise some questions, so be sure you are ready to answer them.