Vad Farkas, owner of Ring of Steel (www.ringofsteel.net), was kind enough to give me a chance to interview him and his girl, Ibi, to catch a glimpse of the life and mind behind the beautiful collars he creates.
What sparked your interest in BDSM?
VF: While serving my apprenticeship in Germany, I read about the British Scandal involving John Profumo (The Secretary of War) and his Mistress, Christine Keeler. Specifically, there was a photo of her collared with him leading her on a leash. Being 14 years old in 1963, it left quite an impression on me.
How long have you been involved with the lifestyle?
VF: We started getting “active” in the 1980’s when we met others in the scene (as it was called back then) by frequenting clubs. Up until then it was just between the two of us.
How did you know you identified as a Dominant?
VF: Both our background being Austrian/Hungarian, a strong male dominant society, plus our childhood role models had influenced and prepared us for this lifestyle.
What made you decide that living D/s was right for you?
VF: It was always right for us; we never made a conscious decision. To love, honor and obey is and always was a serious commitment. Long before either one of us ever heard of BDSM, we had lived the “lifestyle” of our ancestors. I was the “Boss” and breadwinner, while Ibi stayed at home to take care of the household duties. This relationship worked well, as each of us contributed 100%, and we became very good at what we did.
Do you have any advice for those just starting out?
VF: We did not have the Internet to learn about BDSM and it wasn’t as out in the open as it is now. I’d say take advantage of this and learn what you can from places like FetLife, but do not believe everything you read or see. Go by your heart; if it does not feel right, chances are that it isn’t for you. Above all else, respect each other — no matter if you are the D or the s.
What do you believe is the most important thing to remember about BDSM and D/s relationships?
VF: There are no standards or rules; you have to find and set your own.
Do you have any inner callings that are different now than when you started?
VF: Though we are not “active” in the scene due to so many other callings now, this is something that is ingrained in our soul and will always be there.
Do you feel entering into the lifestyle helped you to find your true self?
VF: If you mean as an epiphany, the answer is no. This was always my true self.
ASI works to promote the practice of safe, sane, and consensual BDSM, what does that mean to you?
VF: Use your head; what sounds like a hot fantasy might be a very dumb idea in real life.
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