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What is BDSM?

The simple definition, as found through Wikipedia, is a variety of erotic practices involving Dominance and submission, role-playing, restraint, and other interpersonal dynamics 1

There under this umbrella terminology includes relationships. D/s (Dominant/submissive), M/s (Master/slave), and Tops/bottoms.

In this post, the discussion will focus on being a submissive or slave in the lifestyle while also living as a black man or woman.

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tumblr_mr5wbcFjyQ1swo0q8o1_400You’re probably expecting a super short list of easy-to-do tasks like “Sign up for FetLife” or “Wear more leather!”, but sorry to break it to you, finding a kinky partner is probably just as hard, if not harder, than finding a vanilla one.

For one, finding a kinky partner means finding someone that shares your common interests, that you enjoy spending time with, and also doesn’t mind calling you a slut from time to time. Whereas, finding a vanilla partner can be as simple as walking into the nearest club or bar and turning on the charm (ok, so maybe that’s a little over-simplified).

But finding that perfect blend of kinky and acceptable mate material can be a difficult job so we’re going to give you some pointers on how to find that special someone who is willing to slap your ass AND cuddle with you on the couch!

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We have started selling adult products straight from ASI!

What does this mean for you?

  • If you’re looking for something specific, you can contact us and we can usually add it right away!
  • We can deal with any customer service issues personally and you’ll get the attention you, as a customer, deserve!
  • Lower prices! Cutting out the middle-man means ASI is able to offer lower prices on our products.
  • You know who you are dealing with. We aren’t a warehouse in China, our products ship from the Midwest from the same admin that runs the Facebook page and Website.

We will also be using the new store to list our event tickets and t-shirts.

Photo from www.flickr.com/photos/momentsofbeing/

Most people have played with some kind of vibrator. Do you remember the first time you applied one (or had one applied) to your genitals? Felt pretty good didn’t it? At the least, it was something new and different. Electrostimulation is a lot like that only even more unique. It’s a wonderful way to add some new fun to your sex life. The proper electric current causes both the stimulation of nerve endings and involuntary muscle stimulation. Both of these effects can be combined for a very erotic experience. Some people also use electrostimulation for S&M play. It’s an excellent way to explore the pleasure/pain boundary without the usual risks of damage or lasting pain to the body. It can be precisely controlled and when it’s over, the one submitting to the stimulation is none the worse for the experience (something that cannot be said for most kinds of S&M play).

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First off, I will say that I have never previously owned a leather-alternative/vegan product before. It’s not that I don’t WANT to, but most vegan products are outrageously expensive and are usually made of a material that is less than comfortable. But, since ASI has had several inquiries about vegan gear we decided to try our hand at a product review for Kinky Vegan.

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Question:

“i’ve been a sub for a little over a year. my last Dom didn’t listen to the safety word or even when i said stop and didn’t give any aftercare. being a sub has opened a passionate side of me i thought would never appear but i’m afraid to get another bad Dom. if you have any suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated.”

First off I want to say that I’m sorry you had to go through that. It is unfortunate that some people think that being a Dom means they abuse their submissives. I know it will probably take a lot of trust on your part to be able to take the “gamble” and enter into another D/s relationship, so take your time to heal and learn what you want to get out of your next relationships first. We have several articles on our website that deal with abuse and BDSM, so please feel free to go through these results and I hope they will help you out. Also, we have a sister page, The Safe Submissive, that posts more about safety issues and abuse within the community and several groups on different social sites if you need any support.

After diving head first (as most of us do) into the world of BDSM we generally start to feel comfortable enough to purchase a few “toys”, then a few more, and a few more, and just a couple more.. until we have a collection that needs its own hiding space in the back of the closet. Sure, these toys are plenty of fun, but do you know how to properly take care of them? (more…)

I have written this article with beginners in mind, so for those of us that are more seasoned, you may not learn anything new by reading this, but, then again, you might, and we all had to start somewhere! If you’ve ever been to an adult toy store, or shopped online for toys, I’m sure most of us have noticed something. Unless you have quite a bit of disposable income, a lot of these things are pretty expensive, not to mention some being straight up laughable.

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tumblr_mr6ajoTFOa1swo0q8o1_500To be a Dominant, a true Dominant, is a hard job. Aside from the usual load of daily ‘Domhood’, a Dominant has to read His submissive. This is a very hard thing to do because how is one Man, whom from our submissive eyes is supposed to be this all knowing and in control person up on His pedestal, unable to just read us like a book? He has before, with a touch, a command. He’s shown that He knows you in how He treats you. So we assume its easy for Him to do so, to see through us because from the moment we became His, we think or believe somewhere deep within our minds that somehow He gained these magical ‘Dominant Powers’ that make Him everything He is when He is with us. He doesn’t and there isn’t. He is just a Man. A strong Man who can melt us with one glance and somehow bring out the best, or at least the desire to be our best, just for Him. (more…)

This is my personal story about how discovering and learning about BDSM helped my husband and me come to an important understanding within our marriage, as well as guided me to a place in my life where I am now comfortable with my body and who I am as a person. This is the journey from a vanilla marriage that was quickly falling apart to a 24/7 D/s lifestyle that has helped us become closer than ever. (more…)

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