ASI received a fan question from a male who seemed ashamed to ask his female partner to repeat a few anal tricks on him and he wasn’t sure how to approach it with her in the future. I can definitely understand where he was coming from, but I also felt kind of bad. It is extremely unfortunate that in our society prostate and male anal play is seen with such a negative stereotype and it’s seen that way because of the stigma that surrounds being a homosexual male. As someone who fully supports trans* and gay rights, it makes me extremely sad to see this unfair stigma effecting what should be a very healthy sexual activity between consenting adults.
A favorite quote of mine from another p-spot article addresses this best by saying:
“I don’t know how many of you know this, but being gay is about who you’re attracted to and who you want to sex up. Gayness is NOT about what parts of your body you like to sex up. Straight dudes, gay dudes, and prostate owners of all kinds can enjoy a little P-Spot action.”
When the prostrate is mentioned many men go straight for memories of the doctor’s office or bad pharmaceutical commercials with warnings about possible cancer symptoms, but the prostate is more than just a medical concern.
The first step in p-spot play is knowing what the p-spot is and where it is located. The prostate is just below the bladder surrounding the urethra and its main function is creating the milky, white fluid that carries sperm. It is located a finger-length, or about two inches, inside the rectum and feels similar to a walnut sized ball.
You can stimulate the p-spot by inserting your fingers or a g-spot/p-spot toy into the rectum and pushing slightly towards the root of the penis. You can also stimulate the p-spot externally by applying upward pressure on the perineum (the skin between the anus and the penis), which is a great starting point for experimenting with the p-spot. Remember, with any anal play, be sure to go slowly at first and use plenty of lubrication. You can read more anal sex tips here.
For some extra stimulation during p-spot play you can manually stimulate each other or begin with a rim-job (oral stimulation of the anus). Make sure that you and your partner are healthy and that any areas you come in contact with are clean. My advice would be to add to the foreplay by showering together!
If you didn’t know, stimulating the prostate is actually GOOD for you! Regularly adding p-spot play to your sexual encounters will help flush the prostate and increase pelvic blood flow. It can also provide relief for those who may be experiencing prostrate discomfort.
To bring up p-spot play with your partner, you can introduce a toy in the bedroom, sit down and discuss it with them directly or just suggest it in the heat of the moment of oral sex. I know some people may adversely react to the idea of going “back there” and if you need to discuss the details, the health benefits and what stipulations may be needed.. then go for it! Whatever makes you comfortable and puts your partner at ease will make the experience more enjoyable.
And don’t worry if you don’t find it that exciting at first.. some men really enjoy it the first time, others may need two or three tries while some may never come around to the idea of anal play at all. Just approach it with an open mind and then you can check it off your kinky bucket list.
If you want more information about prostate play, I recommend Charlie Glickman’s book, The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners.