After diving head first (as most of us do) into the world of BDSM we generally start to feel comfortable enough to purchase a few “toys”, then a few more, and a few more, and just a couple more.. until we have a collection that needs its own hiding space in the back of the closet. Sure, these toys are plenty of fun, but do you know how to properly take care of them? Continue reading
This is my personal story about how discovering and learning about BDSM helped my husband and me come to an important understanding within our marriage, as well as guided me to a place in my life where I am now comfortable with my body and who I am as a person. This is the journey from a vanilla marriage that was quickly falling apart to a 24/7 D/s lifestyle that has helped us become closer than ever. Continue reading
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Check out the pinned post on our Facebook page for how to enter!
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Those red flags are there to expose an abuser if only we were trained to see them. You will read the list and think “Now why oh why didn’t I think of that!” This checklist is a general one, as well all know in the BDSM lifestyle, some of these signs are not that of an abuser but of a good dominant, but like all things it doesn’t hurt to have a good idea about what might fall under the category of a potential abusive relationship/person.
“I loved your book so much I tried to tie up my boyfriend while he was asleep. He woke up before I could, but it all worked out anyway…”
Ah, the delicious meaning in that dot, dot, dot. This fan mail is one of my favorites, a definite keeper, but it is probably not the best approach for introducing BDSM in your bedroom. The road to restraining orders starts here.
The truth is, I’ve always had readers interested in this topic but the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena has planted seeds in the minds of millions of Americans. So how do you introduce BDSM into your bedroom in a way that can lead to fun, intimacy and a little dot, dot, dot?
Fan Question:”I’m in a new relationship with a man who loves to be dominated. I’ve always wanted to explore bdsm but never trusted any of my previous partners to do so. When I met the man I’m with now it felt like we were destined to be together. We had an instant connection and we trust eachother completely. As far as dominating him I’m working on it my only thing is I’m not confident enough idk why because he always tells me everrytime we try something new that I’m doing very well but idk I can’t seem to convince myself lol. U have any pointers for a new girl ?? My biggest weakness is the talk, its like I blank out . He loves when I talk dirty, drives him crazy but sometimes I cant think of anything!!!”
Answer: It’s going to take some practice! WHAT you say depends on what turns him on.. so maybe just ask him what gets him going? Is there a certain phrase or word that gets him really excited? Then you could use that to your advantage.. use it make him orgasm faster than expected, to tease him, to deny him, etc. That all depends on what kind of D/s relationship you guys have. I think once you understand what words/phrases turn him on and which ones kill his sexual appetite, you’ll have more confidence in USING those words for your own fun!
Photo from Tumblr.com
By Jessica Cocker
Pain play seems to be something that is increasingly prominent within the BDSM culture and without the distinction that it isn’t necessarily expected of everyone. But with the media focusing on sadism so heavily within the BDSM community I find that most believe when they are starting out that it is something they will have to endure in order to be involved in a D/s relationship. Continue reading
